So many changes, so little time to blog about them

My life feels like a whirlwind of change: change at work, change at home, my kids changing, my relationships changing. Within all this change is the emotional turmoil. It's so easy to give in and dive once again into a deep depression. So many times over the last couple of months, I have found my mind thinking about all the things I haven't done... or all the things I can't do... Once my mind is there, it tends to want to stay there. I have had to really rely on my personal behavior modification training. You see, I've noticed that each time I think of something bad, it leads to thinking of another bad thought. So in the past, I would counter that bad thought with something I could change, something I could do. I would try to think of the bright side of a situation. I always thought that I was naturally pessimistic and I was teaching myself optimism. But I think I have it wrong. I think that we are born optimistic and pessimism is taught. When you look at a baby's behavior, they aren't depressed. From what I observe, most babies are in awe of the world around them. It is only when they are in an environment where pessimism resides when they pick up that trait. When a baby eats, it is usually only enough to satisfy the physical hunger. They usually don't eat out of boredom. Granted some babies eat more than others, but they listen to their bodies. The point I am trying to make, is that if we can program ourselves to think negatively, we can also program ourselves to think positively as well. It is our choice. I have made the choice recently to bring these negative thoughts in my head. By succumbing to this choice, I brought negativity in my life and this spilled to those around me as well. I want to make the choice to bring positive thoughts in my mind. I can't guarantee that I will keep this positive thoughts, but each negative thought should be balanced with a positive thought. Maybe then I can get my life to a stable place in my head. I also can't guarantee that I will keep blogging. But hopefully I can make the time to keep writing so that I can remind myself to stay on track.

Mona